Thursday, August 29, 2002
Dale: I am noodling a story line for a film, a sort of religious/action hybrid. Stay with me.
Here's the idea:
The Lord, sick of rampant heresy in His Church, decides to confront it with a novel and very direct approach. He commissions St. Pius X to return to earth in the flesh, armed with a matte-finish wrought iron crozier and mirrored sunglasses. The mission is simple: the heresy-fighting Pope is to confront the heterodox personally, call upon them to repent, and if they refuse to do so, beat the snot out of them with the crozier.
I call it The Excommunicator.
SCENE: A swanky NY apartment at night.
[TE knocks on the door of said apartment]
TE: Frances Kissling?
FK: Yes?
TE: Abortion is a mortal sin, Miss Kissling. Catholics can in no way be a part of this hideous practice. Repent.
FK: Oh, great. Another nutjob.
TE: Wrong answer. [Wham!] Arrivederci, baby.
-----------------
But it probably won't work as a film. Even with the slam-bang ending (a no-holds barred confrontation with the NCCB at its annual meeting, complete with Matrix-style special effects), I think it's probably a tad too...parochial, appealing only to a certain segment of Catholics. The scene from Blazing Saddles, in which the villains consider assorted plans to get rid of the residents of Rock Ridge (who are interfering with their plans for a railroad expansion) probably applies here:
Taggart: I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: What?
Taggart: Let's kill every first-born male child in Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: [pausing] Nah, too Jewish.
Here's the idea:
The Lord, sick of rampant heresy in His Church, decides to confront it with a novel and very direct approach. He commissions St. Pius X to return to earth in the flesh, armed with a matte-finish wrought iron crozier and mirrored sunglasses. The mission is simple: the heresy-fighting Pope is to confront the heterodox personally, call upon them to repent, and if they refuse to do so, beat the snot out of them with the crozier.
I call it The Excommunicator.
SCENE: A swanky NY apartment at night.
[TE knocks on the door of said apartment]
TE: Frances Kissling?
FK: Yes?
TE: Abortion is a mortal sin, Miss Kissling. Catholics can in no way be a part of this hideous practice. Repent.
FK: Oh, great. Another nutjob.
TE: Wrong answer. [Wham!] Arrivederci, baby.
-----------------
But it probably won't work as a film. Even with the slam-bang ending (a no-holds barred confrontation with the NCCB at its annual meeting, complete with Matrix-style special effects), I think it's probably a tad too...parochial, appealing only to a certain segment of Catholics. The scene from Blazing Saddles, in which the villains consider assorted plans to get rid of the residents of Rock Ridge (who are interfering with their plans for a railroad expansion) probably applies here:
Taggart: I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: What?
Taggart: Let's kill every first-born male child in Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: [pausing] Nah, too Jewish.
