Friday, September 06, 2002
Heather: I was thinking of these things on my car ride home. It's one of the few times I'm all by myself, truly and completely. I usually am listening to newsradio; that's how I keep up with the world.
I'm reading a couple books, one I've mentioned before called Mitten Strings for God. It's beautiful and I hope if affects how I parent all of my children. I've even extracted Dale's promise to read it by Christmas. Another is Vicki Iovine's Girlfriends' Guide To Toddlers, which is a healthy dose of humor along with a reality check. I started The Sacrificial Mother by Carin Rubinstein today.
I'm reading the last there more as prevention than cure. I read the jacket in the store and recognizes some familiar aspects from my own mother. I'm smart enough to know that, despite my every wish, it's a natural tendency to make the same mistakes as one's parents. Simply put: I don't want to do that.
So I'm reading it to avoid repeating history. That leads me into my next topic: Dale as a father.
Today was another of his days off so he was home with Maddie. Two weeks ago when he was home, my mother called. Her car had broken down and she needed him to help cart her and a friend around on their errands, which he did without complaint--toting his daughter with him. Of course Grandma was horrified to spend time with Maddie [NOT].
The Sacrificial Mother cites mothers who give up sleep to care for their children during the day while they work nights, those who go without new clothes until they fall apart for the sake of their children, and so on. When I got home that Friday two weeks ago, I had no clue the kind of day Dale had had. He confessed that he hadn't even had a shower, poor guy. I took charge of the little charge and let him either nap or shower or both, in either order. He did both.
I think of that as I read the introduction to The Sacrificial Mother. It mentions how rare it is for men to make sacrifices and that they, not the children, benefit from the woman's sacrifices.
Once again, I'm grateful that I married a representative of the minority. I think perhaps he would stand to benefit from reading this one too. Partly because I think it will help him understand my thoughts, but his own as well. While the book is directed at women, I see some of the things he's given up for our daughter and for me and think, "Yes, I don't remember the last time I was alone at home, but what about him? Doesn't he deserve these things too?"
There's not a thing he wouldn't do for his daughter and he'd nurse her too if he could. I look for the book The Sacrificial Parent to give as a gift to my beloved husband. I don't know if I'll see it soon, but a girl can dream.
I'm reading a couple books, one I've mentioned before called Mitten Strings for God. It's beautiful and I hope if affects how I parent all of my children. I've even extracted Dale's promise to read it by Christmas. Another is Vicki Iovine's Girlfriends' Guide To Toddlers, which is a healthy dose of humor along with a reality check. I started The Sacrificial Mother by Carin Rubinstein today.
I'm reading the last there more as prevention than cure. I read the jacket in the store and recognizes some familiar aspects from my own mother. I'm smart enough to know that, despite my every wish, it's a natural tendency to make the same mistakes as one's parents. Simply put: I don't want to do that.
So I'm reading it to avoid repeating history. That leads me into my next topic: Dale as a father.
Today was another of his days off so he was home with Maddie. Two weeks ago when he was home, my mother called. Her car had broken down and she needed him to help cart her and a friend around on their errands, which he did without complaint--toting his daughter with him. Of course Grandma was horrified to spend time with Maddie [NOT].
The Sacrificial Mother cites mothers who give up sleep to care for their children during the day while they work nights, those who go without new clothes until they fall apart for the sake of their children, and so on. When I got home that Friday two weeks ago, I had no clue the kind of day Dale had had. He confessed that he hadn't even had a shower, poor guy. I took charge of the little charge and let him either nap or shower or both, in either order. He did both.
I think of that as I read the introduction to The Sacrificial Mother. It mentions how rare it is for men to make sacrifices and that they, not the children, benefit from the woman's sacrifices.
Once again, I'm grateful that I married a representative of the minority. I think perhaps he would stand to benefit from reading this one too. Partly because I think it will help him understand my thoughts, but his own as well. While the book is directed at women, I see some of the things he's given up for our daughter and for me and think, "Yes, I don't remember the last time I was alone at home, but what about him? Doesn't he deserve these things too?"
There's not a thing he wouldn't do for his daughter and he'd nurse her too if he could. I look for the book The Sacrificial Parent to give as a gift to my beloved husband. I don't know if I'll see it soon, but a girl can dream.
