Tuesday, January 07, 2003
Heather: In Praise of My Husband.
Dale doesn't know this is coming, so I hope it's a nice surprise.
Around Thanksgiving, we met a couple friends of his (and one's new wife) at a local bar. We hadn't seen the newlywed since our own wedding just over 3 years before, and never met the bride. Most of you know what socializing is with a toddler: nonexistent. Since they were more his friends than mine, I policed Maddie after she got bored with the high chair and dinner. Luckily the establishment was sparsely populated and courteously staffed, so Maddie could make her rounds over... and over...
I left before Dale to take our daughter home, bathe her, and put her to bed. His parting words ringing in my ears after helping me load up the minivan were, "I don't think we're going to be much later."
Well, it was several hours later when he was dropped off. I was in bed asleep so we did not discuss it at length then, but my behavior gave away my sentiments the next morning.
What he said: "I should have called your mom to take Maddie."
What I heard: You're right--it was no fun for you to keep track of her and you had no chance to talk with adults.
What he said: "I stopped with the beer when you left."
What I heard: You're right. I was imbibing too much, too fast.
What he said: I honestly thought I'd be home sooner.
What I heard: You're right. I was out later than I should have been.
All of those combined meant I was no longer ticked with him, forgiveness had been achieved, the world was back in balance. Like magic.
He also has this habit of turning something I say back around into a compliment to me. He's done it several times that I recall. Example: On our second wedding anniversary, I was about 6 weeks postpartum. I tried to trim Maddie's tiny fingernails and twice missed and cut her (I've since learned to do it when the child is asleep) so we both cried then, I'd had to leave her in her bassinet crying to shower (I thought the sound of water would calm her--it had before), I'd had no chance to do anything special for our anniversary, we went and got her baptism pictures taken, busy day.
He said, "This still was the best anniversary for me."
I said, "Because of her?" indicating our daughter.
"No, it means I've been married to you for one more year."
Honest. He said that.
Recently I asked him something like, "Don't you just look at her and think what a terrific thing we've done?"
His reply was, "Marrying you ranks right up there, too."
Last night I said to him, "You're a wonderful dad."
His reply: "I'm just trying to be as good a parent as you are."
How did I get so lucky? My mind reels at the blessings God has heaped on me--this partner to share my life, the beautiful daughter I can hold in my arms, the imminent son full of activity. I don't believe He answers straying from Him with punishment but instead nudges His children to return, but it certainly does seem like He rewards those who do!
Anyway. All that to say I love him very much.
Dale doesn't know this is coming, so I hope it's a nice surprise.
Around Thanksgiving, we met a couple friends of his (and one's new wife) at a local bar. We hadn't seen the newlywed since our own wedding just over 3 years before, and never met the bride. Most of you know what socializing is with a toddler: nonexistent. Since they were more his friends than mine, I policed Maddie after she got bored with the high chair and dinner. Luckily the establishment was sparsely populated and courteously staffed, so Maddie could make her rounds over... and over...
I left before Dale to take our daughter home, bathe her, and put her to bed. His parting words ringing in my ears after helping me load up the minivan were, "I don't think we're going to be much later."
Well, it was several hours later when he was dropped off. I was in bed asleep so we did not discuss it at length then, but my behavior gave away my sentiments the next morning.
What he said: "I should have called your mom to take Maddie."
What I heard: You're right--it was no fun for you to keep track of her and you had no chance to talk with adults.
What he said: "I stopped with the beer when you left."
What I heard: You're right. I was imbibing too much, too fast.
What he said: I honestly thought I'd be home sooner.
What I heard: You're right. I was out later than I should have been.
All of those combined meant I was no longer ticked with him, forgiveness had been achieved, the world was back in balance. Like magic.
He also has this habit of turning something I say back around into a compliment to me. He's done it several times that I recall. Example: On our second wedding anniversary, I was about 6 weeks postpartum. I tried to trim Maddie's tiny fingernails and twice missed and cut her (I've since learned to do it when the child is asleep) so we both cried then, I'd had to leave her in her bassinet crying to shower (I thought the sound of water would calm her--it had before), I'd had no chance to do anything special for our anniversary, we went and got her baptism pictures taken, busy day.
He said, "This still was the best anniversary for me."
I said, "Because of her?" indicating our daughter.
"No, it means I've been married to you for one more year."
Honest. He said that.
Recently I asked him something like, "Don't you just look at her and think what a terrific thing we've done?"
His reply was, "Marrying you ranks right up there, too."
Last night I said to him, "You're a wonderful dad."
His reply: "I'm just trying to be as good a parent as you are."
How did I get so lucky? My mind reels at the blessings God has heaped on me--this partner to share my life, the beautiful daughter I can hold in my arms, the imminent son full of activity. I don't believe He answers straying from Him with punishment but instead nudges His children to return, but it certainly does seem like He rewards those who do!
Anyway. All that to say I love him very much.
